What it Takes to Heal™
• Allison highly recommends this powerful video at your local library: “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” By Harold Kushner
It is timeless.
• Ask your librarian to get Allison’s CD set “IGNITED”. (ISBN #978-0-615-37427-7) It is packed with profound tools for life and delivered with an enormous amount of love! You can also buy it on Amazon here:
For Friends and Family of Those Facing Crisis:
It’s natural to not know what to say or do for someone who is in crisis. I hear this a lot. The most important thing is to not do nothing; the absence of any contact from you can be misunderstood and appear that you do not care. Reaching out in the smallest way will make a world of difference. People will appreciate that you care and it will help to heal them. Love is powerful. Here are some ideas – you can even just pick one!
- • Sit with them—Be with them, and listen.
- • Ask, “What can I do for you?”
- • Send them a card and write, “Thinking of you.”
- • Try to avoid using cliches like, “Everything happens for a reason”, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, etc.
- • Clean their home or buy their groceries.
- • Offer to take care of their pets or to water their plants.
- • You can say to the person, “I love you.”
- • Give them a hug—if it’s ok for them to be touched.
- • Leave hand picked flowers at their doorstep with a note.
- • Bring them books or CDs on their favorite topic.
- • Drop off a home cooked meal.
- • Offer to take their children to the zoo.
- • Ask if they need a ride to a doctors office or any appointments.
- • Just show up and love them with your eyes, your smile and your kindness – You do not need to solve the problem they have.
- • Leave a voicemail and let them know you are thinking of them.
Here is a good list of support questions you can ask someone who is facing a challenge:
- I want to support you in the best way that you need. Can you tell me what you need or what I can do for you?
- Are you getting enough sleep? You need rest now more than ever.
- Are you eating well and taking good supplements to support your body? Your body needs balance and support now more than ever.
- When appropriate you can ask: Are you exercising? Especially during tough times, it would help support your body.
- Are you drinking enough water every day?
- Do you have a solid support system in place? Do you call them regularly for help?
- Can I help you organize a support system? You do not have to do it all alone.
- Can you do something every day to ease your heart? Please give yourself as much compassion and kindness as possible. Are you being kind towards yourself right now? What can we do to make that happen?
I recommend printing this quote out below and keeping it on your desk, near your bed, or on your bathroom mirror. Whether your belief system is defined by a belief in God, Jesus, Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, or Love, etc…. this quote is so beautiful and helpful:
The Paradoxical Commandments
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered,
LOVE THEM ANYWAY
If you do good, people will accuse you of
selfish, ulterior motives,
DO GOOD ANYWAY
If you are successful,
you win false friends and true enemies,
The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow,
DO GOOD ANYWAY
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable,
BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY
What you spent years building may be
People really need help
but may attack you if you help them,
HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY
Give the world the best you have
And you’ll get kicked in the teeth,
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU HAVE ANYWAY.
*The Paradoxical Commandments were written by Kent M. Keith when he was 19, a sophomore at Harvard College.
Mother Teresa put a condensed version of the Paradoxical Commandments up on the wall of her children’s home in Calcutta. According to Lucinda Vardey, in Mother Teresa: A Simple Path (New York: Ballantine Books, 1995), page 185, there was “a sign on the wall of Shishu Bhavan, the children’s home in Calcutta.” The above is what the sign said.
Thank you dearly to Kent M. Keith.
Support, Love & Compassion | 1 minute
The Power of Love | 1 minute
Perseverance | 1 minute
The Power of the Body | 1.5 minutes
For more video please Click here You will see more excerpts from the international documentary film “ReSolve”—Teaching solutions for coming through post-traumatic stress.